He died :’-(

I had gotten there early so I could get a case to clerk. It had to be a Liver case because  liver diseases was what I spent the most of the past days studying on.

I went to the files and the first I saw was the one I chose. I went with a partner and after we found him, she had said, ‘let us go for another one’. But I wouldn’t have that. I wanted this case- badly. With it, I could put all I studied into practice; find out the Symptoms and signs in a real patient, examine him in the Dr.’s presence, have him ask questions and leave a better person.

Since I was the primary owner of the case, she allowed me have it. In medicine, we seem to agree to whoever gets to decide-most of the time.

We proceeded. He couldn’t talk. His wife did the talking. After a while, his sister joined in. And there was his daughter around, as well. As we did the asking, Other Dr.s and students came once in a while to look over him. It is the kind of case that we call  interesting.

We took the history. He had been sick for 5 months.They’d come from somewhere far away and he’d been treated with herbs and getting incised by traditional doctors. When he got critical, they decided to come to a hospital. Now, he is confused and can’t talk, has lost so much weight, been vomiting, had diarrhea e.t.c

After that we joined our colleagues and had the necessary discussion on the case and another one. We were back at his bedside to examine him. The Dr. Had looked at me asking why I chose such a patient. We couldn’t examine him, he said. But we couldn’t have found all of those signs if not on a patient like him. My group members couldn’t join in but they at least like me, got a chance to see many of the signs that I have only seen in textbooks until that moment. He had palmar erythema, purpura, was deeply jaundiced, had spider nevi, tensed and distended abdomen with observable distended veins, shrunken liver and lower limb swellings and above all,was confused, signalling hepatic encephalopathy.

That was an achievement! In my studenty mind. I mean seeing all at once was great..innit? He didn’t have the contracture though..I have never seen that.

Questions on management were asked and I got to rethink all I studied.

Okay, we moved onto the next patient. That had a massive pleural effusion and after that, we were back at the Dr.’s office. Where we had a tutorial on COPD.

Done for the day, we got our books and attendance register signed. But as we stepped out of the Dr.’s office, the wailings started. OmG! My heart could have broken at that moment. I prayed! that it wasn’t him. At first I could not move to see what it was. Some of the girls had gone ahead of me and as I moved close, one of them said, ‘Amirah, it is your patient.’ I can’t describe how I felt. It was unexplainable. I was sad.

I remember his face so vividly now. I remember how his wife and children looked. I remember so well that when we went back with the Dr, there was a cute young boy and a girl who have joined the others as they were at his bedside. I could not go on to see what they looked like at that time. I just wondered how much sorrow they are in at this time and in what state he has left his wife with 5 children.

What could have been different though. I could have not taken the case and not learnt all I did and not have to feel like I lost a pt. But he wasn’t even technically my patient. I wasn’t his Dr. I was just a student. I don’t regret my before his death encounter with him. NO.He could have come to the hospital earlier instead of getting treatment at home. He may not have deteriorated into chronicity and then encephalopathy.

I wonder if anyone told his relatives that encephalopathy carried a bad prognosis and that his chances of surviving was  slim, from the start.

This is my closest encounter with a dying person. And after the whole process, I started to wonder what would have been different if we had the power to know that his time was so close. Like when it was within an hour or if the thought that the angel of death was close by, could have changed anything. Maybe that would have been the one thing to keep me away from clerking that man.


My heart is beating FAsT!!!

I can’t remember the last time I felt this way. My heart is beating so fast it could just fall off. ;-D or find its way out of my mouth. Gross.

Today is friday and I am yet to call my lawyer :-). Yes!! I have me a lawyer..and I promised to call her every friday.

But that is not the issue right now. The issue is that of my beating HeARt. Of course, my heart should beat! I aint dead yet :-\ but at the same time it shouldn’t have to be so ooo alive.

So tomorrow am gonna see why it did not have to beat so hard. I mean, this is not the first time that I am checking a result or something like that..why then does this have to get so heart popping..and why the drama?

It is gonna be good. THat is the normal me talking..the me that has got me this far. It also says things like, everything’s gonna be fine..Allah knows…

Hahahhahah..so what happened. I have changed, for the worse better?

Tomorrow’s gat to be good..and I’ll tell you why, maybe later.

And about my lawyer? Soon too..

Just pray for me. Please 😉


I can’t remember the last time I blogged or what prompted it. I remember though that it was not an easy task. Eeewooo

So I stopped. And it was easy to..I got plenty on my hands. lie.

Ok..So I decided to check on that download software..there def must be an app for this wordpress. THAT should make things easier…and then I found it. Within minutes, I am back! Blogging!

Must have been a boring day or days or months..or maybe a really thought provoking one. Something in me just wanted to come back on here. It feels there’s something I should be doing on here.

..and this time, I will try to stay on. AZ in, really ON.

I like to write, even when You won’t read it.
Ah hahha..yes, YOU!

I may be Bleaching!! 8-)


like this?? :-/

Oh Yes! An internet savvy Nigerian would know that. Or a Nigerian who spends a considerable amount of time browsing and reading Nigerian internet gossip sites.  The Nigerian would have at least read of the bleaching actress or musician or OAP. The signs are clear enough. They are either on the knees or the knuckles or evidenced by a dark look in an old  photo in contrast to the well moisturised, fair look in the new ones.

Ever since al jazeera’s report that claims 8 out of 10 Nigerian women bleach, everyone has become a suspect! Even though I believe 80% is an exaggeration, I never thought I’d become a victim.

No one even had to tell me, I just knew!! Going through some pictures I took some days ago, I saw a discrepancy on my hands- some parts were lighter and I couldn’t but smh at having joined the bandwagon 😀


or like that 🙂

But hey, I didn’t join out of free will. Fate had played its cards on me. I was involved in an accident about two years ago. My hands got burnt. I had  felt bad at how I’d have to carry such a scar forever. My dermatology had said not to worry, some grafting could be done if ever I get uncomfortable with how it healed. But it had healed perfectly fine except for the beach-like effects. 😦

So, in case, you know, you have been wondering 😉 Quit already.

Letter to my Lost Love


Dear S,

I loved you so much. I took you to my heart. I dreamt of you! I painstakingly took care of everything you. Because of you,  I slept late, woke up early, defied the sun, ran in the rain. I saw the unmentionables, touched the unspeakable and felt the unseen. I gave you my time, my emotions, simply all.

But What do you do in return? A goodbye, in the name of time 😦 Our bargain has ended. Even though you didn’t say it, I know that is what you mean. It was only for three months. How time flies!

Now, We are  never to love meet again.

I will forever Cherish the time We spent together. You taught me lessons I hope to never forget. Oh, Surgery one Minute, You leave me to face the uncertainty called medicine 500. I hope to use all you taught me in making the new relationship a great experience. I hope to find in it love beyond the one you showed me.

While you are bygone, your brother, Surgery 30secs sounds promising. I’ll get to meet him next year InshaAllah. A cumulative of both of you would sure make me the lady Woman I had wanted to be.

Bye love, and greetings to your brother from the love he is yet to meet.











I can do bad!

oops! Its been long I made a post. Just a few minutes ago, while flipping through my research papers, I looked behind me and there was a mirror. My heart went far and then a thought came to me, I wrote it down. Then, I remembered I have a blog(not like I ever forgot ;). I decided to just share it and maybe, I’d start blogging again!!!!!!

So, I can truly do bad, all by myself

So can I do good all by myself
while it matters that our world is intertwined, the only captain of my ship is actually me, Even though the architecture of my space is the Almighty.

and oh, thanks to Tyler Perry 😀

When Will Nigeria Be Great Again

While growing up, no one had to tell me how great Nigeria was. The greatness was there to feel. Everyone knew about it. Talk of the man who thought his father’s farm was the biggest because he never entered someone else’s father’s and my peers and I were a perfect example. We believed in so many things as our patriotism was unshakable. Nigerians were so smart, that they led there classes whenever they go abroad. Our footballers weren’t bad either as they shook the world(Atlanta 96 ). We would even watch our age mates on TV make those amazing moves especially on independence day. I even heard someone say, no other nation does that better than us. Our military men too, looking fierce in those regalia would wave to us whenever we saw them on our way to school and we would be very happy they identified with us.

the attitude is still very much around

We also did have our indulgences. Yh! Bata was the place to buy our shoes and leventis stores wasn’t so far from where we lived, and even though I can’t remember actually buying anything from there, it was a sight to behold. The trans amusement park was also a wonder amusement. With no eateries flooding the streets as we have now, a good recreation, the park provided, a comparatively healthy one at that.

Of course, some not-too- good things were happening too.  Yh! I remember the june 12 rallies we used to see from our verandah and also, the we-no- go- gree demonstrations on TV. Beggars were always on the streets and we did hear of or witness armed robberies too.

But, in the mouth of majority of the people around us, is the slogan, ‘e go better’ and everyone did believe that. water supply was once a week. Unexpectedly, water would gush out from a tap and then the whole neighborhood would be in a frenzy, every one filling all the drums, bowls and buckets they have. On lucky days, we would get to fill our plates too. I remember my mum would tell us whenever there was power outage that soon, we would be able to have our own generator and especially when we move into our own house, life would be better. At that time, water would be more readily available too as we would have our own borehole. And as a little child, I would dream of a life without power outage and when there is one, our power generator to the rescue.

But unfortunately, the dream is still on. Not one of being able to afford a power generator but of the generator being able to keep working 24/7. The longest I have seen it (them) work is 12hrs, not to forget the many days without as there is usually a silencer, a belt or anything else not working , and with the recent fuel hike, much is  better left  to the imagination. Generators are not to augment the government supply but are the main supply with the government ones doing the augmenting, saving us some fuel and of course, some noise. Not forgetting the pollution.

Our few, well tarred streets are now rain water filled  pot holes. Gutters are filled with refuse and major roads are places for the display of wares. Markets are an eyesore. Our once amazing amusement park has nothing amusing in it with all rides rusted and nothing as a replacement . Even the UI zoo, which later became our all in one, is now flooded with the animals gone.  Our beautiful leventis store and others like it are closed down and all you can see taking over are eateries. The best sport Nigerians and of course the rich partake in is eating out- No better way to have a treat, in an affordable way too.

Now looking back, I see a not-too great Nigeria, that in its greatness was a reflection of hope, a better tomorrow. Tomorrow has come, it is now and we are worse than we were yesterday. We probably was on false hope. One that saw us finding the easiest  ways out . We have a today that can reshape another tomorrow. The tomorrow can be near depending on what we put into it.

When we start to nip our problems in the bud, when what we set to achieve is  for the common good of all,  when our water isn’t the one we can provide for our own selves, but a lasting solution into bringing the once functioning but rusted taps of old to work and when we make our governments responsible by collectively asking for what we deserve and not the pea nuts they give us. When our ’e go better’ is by action rather than just saying it with our mouth,  Nigeria can be great again. Great in the true sense of it.

Now, if you like this post, please click on the like button below and or on the star button . If you have anything in mind about it, or ways to make Nigeria great again, please write  below.

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