He died :’-(


I had gotten there early so I could get a case to clerk. It had to be a Liver case because  liver diseases was what I spent the most of the past days studying on.

I went to the files and the first I saw was the one I chose. I went with a partner and after we found him, she had said, ‘let us go for another one’. But I wouldn’t have that. I wanted this case- badly. With it, I could put all I studied into practice; find out the Symptoms and signs in a real patient, examine him in the Dr.’s presence, have him ask questions and leave a better person.

Since I was the primary owner of the case, she allowed me have it. In medicine, we seem to agree to whoever gets to decide-most of the time.

We proceeded. He couldn’t talk. His wife did the talking. After a while, his sister joined in. And there was his daughter around, as well. As we did the asking, Other Dr.s and students came once in a while to look over him. It is the kind of case that we call  interesting.

We took the history. He had been sick for 5 months.They’d come from somewhere far away and he’d been treated with herbs and getting incised by traditional doctors. When he got critical, they decided to come to a hospital. Now, he is confused and can’t talk, has lost so much weight, been vomiting, had diarrhea e.t.c

After that we joined our colleagues and had the necessary discussion on the case and another one. We were back at his bedside to examine him. The Dr. Had looked at me asking why I chose such a patient. We couldn’t examine him, he said. But we couldn’t have found all of those signs if not on a patient like him. My group members couldn’t join in but they at least like me, got a chance to see many of the signs that I have only seen in textbooks until that moment. He had palmar erythema, purpura, was deeply jaundiced, had spider nevi, tensed and distended abdomen with observable distended veins, shrunken liver and lower limb swellings and above all,was confused, signalling hepatic encephalopathy.

That was an achievement! In my studenty mind. I mean seeing all at once was great..innit? He didn’t have the contracture though..I have never seen that.

Questions on management were asked and I got to rethink all I studied.

Okay, we moved onto the next patient. That had a massive pleural effusion and after that, we were back at the Dr.’s office. Where we had a tutorial on COPD.

Done for the day, we got our books and attendance register signed. But as we stepped out of the Dr.’s office, the wailings started. OmG! My heart could have broken at that moment. I prayed! that it wasn’t him. At first I could not move to see what it was. Some of the girls had gone ahead of me and as I moved close, one of them said, ‘Amirah, it is your patient.’ I can’t describe how I felt. It was unexplainable. I was sad.

I remember his face so vividly now. I remember how his wife and children looked. I remember so well that when we went back with the Dr, there was a cute young boy and a girl who have joined the others as they were at his bedside. I could not go on to see what they looked like at that time. I just wondered how much sorrow they are in at this time and in what state he has left his wife with 5 children.

What could have been different though. I could have not taken the case and not learnt all I did and not have to feel like I lost a pt. But he wasn’t even technically my patient. I wasn’t his Dr. I was just a student. I don’t regret my before his death encounter with him. NO.He could have come to the hospital earlier instead of getting treatment at home. He may not have deteriorated into chronicity and then encephalopathy.

I wonder if anyone told his relatives that encephalopathy carried a bad prognosis and that his chances of surviving was  slim, from the start.

This is my closest encounter with a dying person. And after the whole process, I started to wonder what would have been different if we had the power to know that his time was so close. Like when it was within an hour or if the thought that the angel of death was close by, could have changed anything. Maybe that would have been the one thing to keep me away from clerking that man.

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My heart is beating FAsT!!!


I can’t remember the last time I felt this way. My heart is beating so fast it could just fall off. ;-D or find its way out of my mouth. Gross.

Today is friday and I am yet to call my lawyer :-). Yes!! I have me a lawyer..and I promised to call her every friday.

But that is not the issue right now. The issue is that of my beating HeARt. Of course, my heart should beat! I aint dead yet :-\ but at the same time it shouldn’t have to be so ooo alive.

So tomorrow am gonna see why it did not have to beat so hard. I mean, this is not the first time that I am checking a result or something like that..why then does this have to get so heart popping..and why the drama?

It is gonna be good. THat is the normal me talking..the me that has got me this far. It also says things like, everything’s gonna be fine..Allah knows…

Hahahhahah..so what happened. I have changed, for the worse better?

Tomorrow’s gat to be good..and I’ll tell you why, maybe later.

And about my lawyer? Soon too..

Just pray for me. Please 😉

Arghhhh!!!


I can’t remember the last time I blogged or what prompted it. I remember though that it was not an easy task. Eeewooo

So I stopped. And it was easy to..I got plenty on my hands. lie.

Ok..So I decided to check on that download software..there def must be an app for this wordpress. THAT should make things easier…and then I found it. Within minutes, I am back! Blogging!

Must have been a boring day or days or months..or maybe a really thought provoking one. Something in me just wanted to come back on here. It feels there’s something I should be doing on here.

..and this time, I will try to stay on. AZ in, really ON.

I like to write, even when You won’t read it.
Ah hahha..yes, YOU!

It takes a beautiful soul


It takes a beautiful soul

in sha Allah

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Forgiving You


The day I start to do things because of how they’ll make you feel is d day you get in control.

Because I don’t ever want you in control, I’ll keep my anger, control my tears, forget what you did and forgive you.

Then I would smile, and be happy because my heart would be free of all the hatred, my mind would stop thinking of how to get back at you. I would be free!!!!

My mind would radiate with joy, my skin radiant in beauty, my smiles deep from within.

If you see me at this state, you better be happy for me. For  if these make you uncomfortable, Victory would have been mine – alone!

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Thanks to the Saudis :-)


It is a crazy world innit? The best everyone can do is at least pretend to be sane. :-/

…and then came the news that I’d rather know as a rumour at first, that Saudi was deporting based on looks. oh, Yh! really??

Who could be that good looking?.. and the search began. Thanks to the Saudis, the whole world came to know of the film maker, the cutest of Dubai and most probably, the most notable Arab face of the  Year.

Thanks to them, I had looked- but the first look was okay, the second a sin. How many second/third looks for every of the picture starring at our faces on the internet?

Thanks to the Saudis, I have made a comment, not flattering though- which may have been a sin.

Thanks to them once again for giving the word, haram a new definition. Who could have known that ‘good looks’ aren’t befitting of the holy land.2013-04-29-23-55-10-455715922

Thanks to the Saudis that a considerable amount of time was spent, during lecture hours *covers face*, telling the know-nots of the intriguing news.

and Thanks to them, finally, for bringing it to my mind that nothing defines hot more than the Nija sun-beaten,square jawed, dark skinned, fit, Yoruba man 😛

*****

Edited

There are reports that the events didn’t happen as the media reported it. May Allah forgive you and me.

I may be Bleaching!! 8-)


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like this?? :-/

Oh Yes! An internet savvy Nigerian would know that. Or a Nigerian who spends a considerable amount of time browsing and reading Nigerian internet gossip sites.  The Nigerian would have at least read of the bleaching actress or musician or OAP. The signs are clear enough. They are either on the knees or the knuckles or evidenced by a dark look in an old  photo in contrast to the well moisturised, fair look in the new ones.

Ever since al jazeera’s report that claims 8 out of 10 Nigerian women bleach, everyone has become a suspect! Even though I believe 80% is an exaggeration, I never thought I’d become a victim.

No one even had to tell me, I just knew!! Going through some pictures I took some days ago, I saw a discrepancy on my hands- some parts were lighter and I couldn’t but smh at having joined the bandwagon 😀

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or like that 🙂

But hey, I didn’t join out of free will. Fate had played its cards on me. I was involved in an accident about two years ago. My hands got burnt. I had  felt bad at how I’d have to carry such a scar forever. My dermatology had said not to worry, some grafting could be done if ever I get uncomfortable with how it healed. But it had healed perfectly fine except for the beach-like effects. 😦

So, in case, you know, you have been wondering 😉 Quit already.

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